Values Tool

I have been divorced for 15 years and am currently in a successful 15-year relationship with my partner. While I am not a psychologist, life coach, or marriage counselor, I am not ignorant when it comes to human relationships. I have a natural ability to connect with people and engage in meaningful conversations. I am well-regarded by others and have earned the trust of many individuals and couples who have sought my counsel regarding their relationship issues. I have had these types of conversations with numerous couples over the past 12 years, ranging from teenagers to married couples, and have provided valuable insight and guidance. While I cannot recall specific cases, I am proud to have made a positive impact on the lives of those who have confided in me.​​​​​

 

As I went along these past years and was passionate about people's values, I developed my own formula for evaluating relationships and predicting whether or not a couple will get divorced based on how they rate their compatibility in five areas: social, religious, sex, sport, and intellect.

 

My own personal opinion formula involves asking both parties (but not together, I would ask individually) to rate each topic on a scale of 0-100% and then categorizing each topic as either passing or failing based on a 70/30 split. If one party rates a topic at 70% or higher in their favor, and the other rates it at 30% or lower, then I would make a statement that the couple should consider divorce or avoid getting into a relationship altogether.

 

For example, if one partner is a Christian and the other is an atheist, and the Christian rates religion at 70% in their favor while the atheist rates it at 30% in theirs, while all the other four topics passed 70/30 % in favor of both parties, then I would make a statement (my personal opinion) or discuss against the relationship.

 

I also state my own opinion that people test their compatibility in these areas before getting into a new relationship to avoid potential problems down the road.

 

It is crucial to recognize that although my approach may aid in recognizing possible sources of tension in a partnership, there are numerous other elements at play when it comes to whether or not a relationship thrives. Furthermore, it is vital to approach these matters with sensitivity and consideration for each individual's beliefs and values. That is why, when conversing with couples, I strive to ensure that they have a clear understanding and rating of these five topics. As someone who has been through a divorce, I view this as my way of contributing to couples who seek my guidance in addressing their relationship issues.